10411(Source: bloodydifficult, via linnnnaz)
(Source: fearlessknightsandfairytales, via thehundredshenry)
(via superlooiis)
(Source: shreeeya, via kerryquack)
| I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. | |
| When chemists die, they barium. | |
| Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. | |
| I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. | |
| I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. | |
| This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. | |
| I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. | |
| I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. | |
| They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. | |
| We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. | |
| Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? | |
| Broken pencils are pointless. | |
| I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. | |
| What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. | |
| I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. | |
| All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. | |
| I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. | |
| Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. | |
| A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. | |
| The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault. | |
| Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. |
(Source: sparkly-vomit.tumblr.com, via toeremi)
better be worth it in the end >:[
(via thicoolman)
(via thehundredshenry)
